Wednesday, January 17, 2018

How to be happy?

It’s been 2 weeks since I posted my blog in the beginning of this year. Within 2 weeks, so many things have happened. Good things and bad things. Sometimes we can’t stop the bad things from happening in life and when that happens, usually we forget all of the good things that we have or those we once had. In the beginning of this year, I wrote about choosing to be happy as my New Year’s resolution but I broke that off already :p There were days that I was so grumpy and unhappy.

As I’m sitting on my bed right now, I am thinking to myself “I wrote about choosing to be happy but I never wrote about how to be happy??” Let’s say, you already CHOOSE to be happy now but you don’t know HOW to be happy in the middle of the chaos and all of your problems. HOW to be happy when everyone around you is one step ahead of you and you’re still at the same place where you were last year. HOW to be happy when you have to pay the bill but the amount in your bank account is not sufficient. HOW to be happy when you don’t know what the future holds and everything is so uncertain. Well, I’m not gonna give you 10 steps to be happy right here, but I just wanna share one thing that I’ve learned to do recently in order to be happy.

I was reading this book called “Hyyge” (read:hue-gah), it’s a Danish word which means a warm and welcoming things that makes life better in the simplest of ways. It is a way of taking the time to feel safe and happy, to enjoy the warmth and security of being with people you love. Hygge is popular because it encourages people to slow down, kick back and take a moment. And that’s IT! That’s the thing that we all need to do. We need to slow down, relax and take a moment to be GRATEFUL. I know there must be a lot of things in your life that you wanna change or you wish to be better. It can be your career, family, relationship, friends or anything. I also feel that way. But, somehow, I’m too focused on things that I wanna change or wish to change that I forget to slow down and take a moment. So, here I am, taking a moment to be grateful. When I look back, there are so many things that I can be grateful for:
-My family

They’re not perfect and we’ve had a lot of dramas. But that’s my family and I’m grateful that I can call something that’s mine.
-My graduation day 👨‍🎓 👩🏻‍🎓 
If you think that this is just another normal graduation day, well, it’s not. So many things HAPPENED on THAT DAY and I am grateful that I successfully went pass that day. It also needs a lot of hard-work and patience to get to that day (read my blog: )

-My “High & Low” Project 
This project is just starting and to be honest, we don’t know the next step that we’re gonna take yet. We don’t know when we will be as big as Justin Bieber or as big as Oh Wonder 😋 but at least, it’s starting..

-Lastly, this guy :)
This guy has put up with me a lot and I am so thankful for him.. Many times I take him for granted and see his past mistakes more than I see the amazing things he’s done for me. Right now I wanna say, I’m so proud to be yours, babe!

Well, maybe you’re reading this and you’re saying “yeah, you have a cute boyfriend. Yeah, you have a nice family. Yeah, you have a degree and a job now. Yeah, you have a lot of things to be thankful for.” Let me tell you this, there’s a LOT of things that you don’t see behind those photos. I struggled over a lot of things with my family. Austin and I went through a lot of tests and challenges in our relationship, even now we are together again, we are still in a long distance relationship. My job doesn’t always pay me well or on-time and there are times that I don’t feel excited to do it. My graduation day almost got postponed just because of one small thing. Sometimes I think, “why can’t I get things that I want easily?” Even now, my life is still not that easy, BUT, there will always be a BRIGHT side in your life when you WANT to see the BRIGHT side. Yes, your job is hard and tiring while other people’s jobs are more interesting but hey! At least, you have a job. Yeah, you’re single while everyone around you is dating someone or even married but hey! You have a few good friends that are worthy of your time and attention plus remember, it’s better to be single than to be married/in a relationship with a wrong person. Yeah, the project that you’re working on has not developed yet but hey! At least, you’re working on something and you’re gonna see the result one day! Oh please, take some time this year to slow down and take a moment. We live in this world that is so crazy and so obsessed with social media. It’s so easy for us to look at other people’s lives and wish that our lives would be like theirs. But, you don’t know what they’re going through in their lives and sometimes comparing yourselves with other people is gonna kill your happiness. Take a moment to slow down today, let’s make time just for you and what is really important for you: to look back and be grateful.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Goodbye 2017, Welcome 2018!

2017 has been a tough year for me. Not only in my career or relationship but also in my family, because we have lost our dear father/husband. Everytime a day goes by, I feel like "thank God I can pass today without being dramatic!!" Only God knows how much I've cried this year.

Entering 2018, I have mixed feelings. I have to be honest with you.. I am excited but I also feel a lil bit anxious. For some people, I am the most optimistic person, but honestly, I'm worried about how I AM going to behave or act in 2018.

Most days of 2017 were filled with tears, fears, worries, doubts and of course when I left 2016, I didn't expect 2017 to be that way.. that made me feel like I shouldn't have waited until 2017 ends to decide to make a change.

To be honest, I never thought that I would lose my father at the age of 22.. I never thought that I couldn't graduate last year just because there was one compulsory class that was not open last year so I just graduated this year.. I never thought I would STILL be in a long distance relationship until now.

There are things that out of my control. I can't control my father's death, I can't control someone else's decision, to be honest, sometimes I feel like I can't even control my feelings but the truth is I can.. yes, we can. We're the only ones who can control our feelings, emotions, and attitudes.

My new year's resolution is not trendy or fancy, it is just as simple as this: I want to be able to decide to be happy everyday. Life is hard. People change. They come and go. Money also comes & goes. Don't wait to be happy. Decide to be happy here and now. It's SO hard to make that decision! Even writing this right now isn't easy at all.. My wish for you is that you will decide to be happy in 2018 despite of your situation! I'm sorry that your boyfriend broke it off with you, I'm sorry that your parents didn't allow you to go to that university, I'm sorry you haven't seen your dreams come to pass, I'm sorry that person talked to you in that way, and I'm sorry for how your friends treated you, but despite all of that, please don't feel sorry for yourself. Don't be sorry that you're different. Don't be sorry that you're so melancholic. OWN it. It's your boyfriend's loss. It's your friends' loss. Make a decision that you decide to be happy today. If you fail to make that decision today, you can make that decision tomorrow. As a matter of fact, tomorrow is a perfect new start for making a new decision! Decide to say hello to 2018 and goodbye to 2017!

P.S: Your failures, disappointments and setbacks in 2017 have changed you on the inside. So don’t regret it. Oswald Chambers once said “You will never cease to be the most amazed person on earth at what God has done for you on the inside”. 2018 is gonna be better!

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Expect the great things!

“Ah tomorrow’s gonna be another long tiring day..”

“This is gonna get harder..”

Sounds familiar? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can get so stressed out about tomorrow.. I worry about tomorrow too much that I can’t enjoy today. It’s so easy for me to think about how things won’t change in the future and it’s gonna be hard.

            Those who know me from the outside might think that I’m so positive and optimistic about life. But, honestly, so many times I feel afraid of the future.. Until yesterday, I was thinking about the future and I just realized that I was so negative! I was filled with so many fears, worries and doubts. Then I asked myself, “If I could imagine the bad things that can happen, why don’t I just imagine the good things?”. In life, there will be challenges and hardships but don't have low expectations in life just because we live in this fallen world. I don't want to spend my time worrying about the future. Instead, from now on, I will always expect the great things in the future.. We might hear people say  “Don’t have too much expectation in life or you’ll end up being disappointed!” hmm well, I used to believe that but now I WON'T! I wanna have great expectations in life. I expect to have a family, I expect to live in a cute apartment with my beloved husband and make a living out of my passion. I expect myself to be happy, alive and content. Does it sound wrong to you? for me, it sounds just RIGHT! Don't expect for the worst just because you don't wanna be disappointed. It's like being disappointed before you're actually getting disappointed! Ha. 

Expect the great things in life. Enjoy now. Have a big wild imagination! You are just one step closer to your imagination! So imagine the good things and dream BIG dreams.


Yemima H

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance Relationship

Many people say that long distance relationships stink.. It is true but there are also benefits of having a long distance relationship. Today I want to encourage those who are in a long distance relationship that it doesn’t always have to stink. There are things that also good in a long distance relationship:
-You will not take that person for granted. You will value each moment that you spend together. I remember when Austin was here for 2 weeks, everyday felt so special. Even casual things such as having lunch together, doing my work, going to church felt so special. (Writing this makes me miss him so much..)
-It helps you to keep your purity. I don’t know about you, but it is a struggle to almost every couple to remain pure while they’re dating. When I say pure, it’s not only “not having sex before marriage”, but it’s also anything close to that (Fondling, Caressing, etc). I always view long distance relationships as a blessing in disguise (It is really a blessing because it is so much harder when you live in the same city!). Austin and I
have the same love language. We both express our love by spending our quality time together. By having a long distance relationship, we always (or in this case, we can only) spend our quality time by talking over the phone. We spend more time to get to know each other by communicating instead of having physical touch.
-It helps you to be productive. When you live in the same city, it is easy to get caught up in the relationship. You always want to spend time with that person; you always want to do things together with that person. I find this long distance relationship as a gift for me to be productive. Well, there are times that I’m not productive because I miss him too much that I can’t stop crying. But, most of the times I can focus on my work and ministry because we live far away from each other. I don’t spend my Saturday nights watching a movie at the theatre or hanging out at the mall with him. I spend my Saturdays with my family or doing work or doing ministry.
-Last but not least, you become more dependent on Christ! When you’re in a long distance relationship, you can’t always run to that person every time you have a problem or when you’re feeling sad. I find myself becoming more dependent on God and surrendered to Him in this long distance relationship. Since we are separated by distance and time, I can’t always talk to Austin whenever I need comfort or counsel. Christ is the One and the first place that I run to every time I’m feeling sad, tired or worried. Even if Austin is around, I know that Christ should be the One that I depend on. However, it is easy for me to try to seek for comfort from Austin when he is around. I can easily be dependent on him instead of Christ. So, this long distance relationship is a training ground for me to be dependent on Christ and only Him. He is my all in all.

By saying all of the things above, it doesn’t mean that if you’re not in a long distance relationship then you will take the person you’re dating for granted or it is impossible for
you to keep yourself pure! No, not at all! This is just me giving an encouragement to those who are in a long distance relationship that you can view it in a different way. That
it doesn’t always have to sound so bad. I know it is not easy, especially if you’ve done it for a long time.. But, it’s worth it (Well, depends on who you’re dating! Haha. Of course it’s worth it if you’re dating the person that is pleasing to God). The point is, be patient. Patience is not just the ability to wait; it is also how you act while you’re waiting. I hope all those things above can help you to have the right attitude while you’re waiting. For those who live in the same city with your future spouse then don’t take them for granted. Be grateful for them. Ask God’s grace to keep you pure. Stay productive. Keep relying on God. Whatever kind of situation that your relationship is in right now, Always put Jesus at the center of your relationship!


Yemima Hutapea